Kimmi bought lunch. Not a surprise, we all have to eat. As he sterilised his hands with the desinfectant he mused: "I wonder what happens to the bacteria after I sterilise my hands. I mean, where do they go? They are dead, but... do they disintegrate or something? I didn't wash my hands, so they won't be flushed away in the sink. Where are they now?"

It should be mentioned that Kimmi is somewhat bacteriophobic. That is okay. We all have our hang-ups, I for one has almost dedicated my entire blog to a coworker. This made it no less fun however, to tell him about the fungus spores and bacteria he inhales, and how the bacteria still are on his hands, only dead.

Click for more Kimmi-goodness

We got in a new box of penis-enlarging tablets, the other day. I think it's funny that these things get produced and that people buy them. I had to ask Anne if she knew about this particular brand. As a joke I aksed if they worked. "no they don't", Kimmi said instantly.


****
Kimmi brought leftover spaghetti for lunch the other day. As he wants to heat it up he goes in to where we had the microwave before the owner took it away.

KIMMI: Where's the microwave?
ANNE: Um, The owner brought it with him when they cleaned up here.
KIMMI: What a loser.
ANNE: yeah, we could need one.
*silence*
KIMMI: But how do you and Ayna do it when you want to heat up your noodles?
ANNE: ...
KIMMI: ...
ANNE: You mean the cup noodles?
KIMMI: yes.
ANNE: Those noodles you put boiling water in?
KIMMI: yes.
ANNE: ...
KIMMI: ...
ANNE: That is what the water heater in front of you is for, Kimmi.
KIMMI: Oh. I see.

Click for more Kimmi-goodness

Last Saturday I was at a party and this guy came up to me and asked me if I wore contacts. When I told him no he continued by saying that he was surprised, because my eyes seemed so smooth. My ultimate reaction was of course to laugh in his face and ask him if that was his way of picking up girls. He became somewhat taken aback and said that well... uhm... but it was a compliment because my eyes were so shiny and sparkling. So I laughed again and said that at least I would remember him, and I went into the kitchen and told his friends about his attempt at picking me up. Of course they all laughed and started teasing him about it.

Because I am such a nice person.

Today I ate cheezballz for breakfast. Turns out that wasn't such a good idea after all. Who'd a thunk it?

I dreamt last night that the flat under me was burning. And I thought it was completely unnecessary of my neighbours to set their flat on fire, because I really couldn't remember what things to save apart from my shoes.

String quartet version of Past the mission is... well, *points to title*.

Oh, and mum thinks it's about time I settled down and got kids.

2010 is going to be great. [/sarcasm]

This happened a day I was not at work, but my colleague (you know the one, the one with the allergies for precise work hours) just told me this and it was darned funny. Now as you may know, there have been some downsizing among the workers, and currently we're only three people left; Kimmi, Anne and myself.

ANNE: Kimmi, I just thought of something.
KIMMI: What?
ANNE: I just realised that next year we'll all be 25.
KIMMI: I won't. I'll be 24 next year.
ANNE: No no, all three of us* turn 25 next year. You, me and Ayna.
KIMMI: Absolutely not. Next year I'm 24. I'm not turning 25 until the year after that.
ANNE: Actually no, Kimmi. You turn 25 next year.
*and so on and so forth for a while*
ANNE: Kimmi, we're all born in 1986, right?
KIMMI: Right.
ANNE: We're in 2010 now.
KIMMI: Yeah?
ANNE: ...
KIMMI: ...
ANNE: That makes you 24 this year.
KIMMI: ...
ANNE: Thus making you 25 next year.
KIMMI: ...
ANNE: ...
KIMMI: OH, Yeah. That's right. Damn.
KIMMI: I feel old.

*Ayna may be born in 1986, but she'll always be 22 in spirit.

Click for more Kimmi-goodness

I had like a weird day yesterday. I started with me being late for class. The first French class this year. As I ran into the subway station this woman mysteriously gets entangled in my scarf. Thus disabling me to make it in time for the subway.

When I finally get onto the next subway the floor is so slippery, that I fall. I fall forward and start to slip backwards, and get my foot stuck in "THE GAP". You know, the "please mind the gap between the train and the platform". That gap. Now here's the best part. Right next to where I fall there is a man. And instead of helping me when I fall he just watches me as if I were something mildly interesting on the telly. His total lack of empathy baflles me so much that I slip some more and get completely stuck in the gap between the train and the platform. After some intense crawling I manage to get up, to find the man still looking at me. I give him my best look of utter shock and disbelief and limp my way to one of the poles, cursing him a lot in the process.

I know I blogged about being too old last time but OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!! SQUEEEEEEEEE! *is jumping up and down and screaming like a little schoolgirl* I srsly totes omg'ed irl, you guys! (btw, thank you, ONTD, for ruining my grammar.)


BUT OH I CAN'T FECKING WAIT! [/capslock]

Are you as excited as me?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows trailer.

I need to tell yall that Sons of Anarchy is THE GREATEST SHOW EVAAAAHS! liekomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!!!!!11! Charlie Fucking Hunnam. Topless, beating up good guys and worse guys. So totez hawthawthawtttomg!

Now what, dear flist and other readers, has made me react in such a degrading and weird spelling way? Is it my newfound addiction to ohnotheydidnt? Probably. At least the spelling. But my reaction, my friends is solely the the acting talent that is Charlie hunnam. Surprisingly enough, seeing how in Nicholas Nickleby he had a slightly less convincing British accent than Keanu Reeves in Dracula - and this guy is from England. But he has grown as an actor, or at least his abs and biceps have. Grown, that is. mmm. Hunnam.

Yeah, and it's really exciting as well.

Tomorrow I'm working with Kimmi again, so I am expecting an update soon.

Just updating to say that Christmas Eve went fine. It was one of the most peaceful Christmas Eves I've had in years and Christmas Day was really nice also. I have now spent more time with my mother than I have in two years and that shows too, however. We had a row yesterday. That hasn't happened in a couple years. But the good thing about me and mum is that we both get really angry really fast and then we explode, and after that we go back to being the best of friends again. So we drank mulled wine by the fireside after we were in our repective rooms pouting for about fifteen minutes. Now everything is okay again. Mum's great.

My sisters are at my Dad's. Right now I'm making apple, pear and ginger jam/purée. It tastes awesome. Mum's on the phone with her bestie, looking like a teenager lying on the piano bench with her feet in the air, there's one foot and six inches of snow outside, i'm watching the lively fire in the fireside and I guess I'm happy. Or, you know, not sad.

The other day I was catching up the news on ohnotheydidnt. As I looked at a picture of Neil Patrick Harris Kimmi looked over my shoulder.

KIMMI: Oh man, I love that guy! He is so cool. He is AWESOME!
AYNA: Yeah I know, right? If he wasn't gay I'd totally hook up with him to make AWESOME babies. Just think of it. Awesome babies with awesome sauc...
KIMMI: Wait, what?
AYNA: Yeah I know, right? If he wasn't gay I'd totally hook up with him to make AWESOME babies. Just think of...
KIMMI: He's gay?
AYNA: ...yeah?
KIMMI: No but, no no. ... Wait. Is this your sarcasm thing again?
AYNA: No no, he is a homosexual.
AYNA: *looks up picture of NPH with boo looking all lovey dovey at eachother (and alarmingly similar o_0)*
AYNA: See? That's his boyfriend.
KIMMI: *sits down in chair*
KIMMI: But no! He can't be gay! I fucking worship that man!
AYNA *thinks to herself*: wouldn't the gayness just help with that?
KIMMI: I mean he is supposed to be this huge player, right? I saw that!
AYNA: You met NPH?
KIMMI: No, I saw it on television. He was all about hooking up with different girls and bragging about it.
AYNA: Like on How I Met Your Mother? The non-documentary sit com?
KIMMI: Yeah.
AYNA: But that's not real. You know this right? It's called acting.
KIMMI: Aw! Man! I can't belive he is gay! It's not official, right? I mean, you can't have a gay actor playing those kind of parts. Nobody knows this, right?
AYNA: *again points to picture of NPH and his boo*
AYNA: this was posted on twitter, so my guess is it's pretty official.
KIMMI: Aw, MAN! I can't believe he's gay! This totally ruins my day!
AYNA: ...why?
KIMMI: I told you, I fucking worship that man! And now he is gay. Oh, I'm so bummed out right now!

And he was. He was mysteriously quiet for the rest of the day. Man, I really crushed him with those news.

Click for more Kimmi-goodness

So here are some cool memes!
( the 2009 meme (actually it is a modifid 2007 meme, but who cares) )

MOAR ( texty-text. Questions )

Kimmi refuses to believe that women find johnny Depp attractive. This tires me. How can you choose not to believe that? I told him he was wrong. That women really do like Johnny Depp and that there are like four women in the world that don't. But he really just didn't believe me. He said that women only liked him because he is an actor, and that he is not pretty. Because, as we all know, women like powerful men, not good looking men. So women don't think Johnny Depp is hot. When we say that we do we actually lie, so men won't understand that we in fact think he is an actor. Alas, our plans were foiled again. Why did we not think of the brilliance that is Kimmi's mind? He saw right through our evil plans.

DAMNATION!

Click for more Kimmi-goodness

Aparently this year was even boringer than last. And there is a major break.

aj_stalin's year:

January
So it turns out my friend is murdered. Strangled with her own scarf. What kind of psycho bastard would do such a fucked up thing? She must have been so afraid. I'm going to the funeral tomorrow. It's gonna be sad.

February
Bonesaw, popcorn and Dev Patel
Saturday was fun in a way, I guess.

March
A new way of failing to pick me up
AYNA: *walks home from party*

Loong blog break till July
FYI, my birhtday went great. It was the best party I've had since I was 18.

august
After playing Tori Amos almost daily since I started here it happened. The thing I was hoping would happen. This cute little gay boy glittered* his way to me and complimented my music. He said: "I always thought this store needed more Tori Amos and I am absolutely *thrilled* that you play it!" Needless to say, I'm in love.

September
Something strange is happening to me these days.

October
I am a terrible person with awful coping skills apparently.

November
I went to the dentist again (for the third time these past two months) to pull out a tooth.

December
For no reason whatsoever my LJ deleted all my userpics.


Ah, MAN my life sucks.

Will post a cute Kimmi update when home.

For no reason whatsoever my LJ deleted all my userpics. That was weird. has anything like that happened to you? I didn't get like a warning or anything like that, so it seems something random just happened. I mean, it's not that my icons are so offensive. But the sad thing is that many of thm are quite old and I don't remember where I got them all. Some of them I'd even made myself, on the old computer that is now gone (RIP Speedy).

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, however, for now I get to massively update my icons. some of them, I still remember where came from, and are therefore easy to find. I have plenty new icons now. But if someone were to find some cute icons for me, please do tell. and if someone stumbled upon an icon with Hermione from GoF jumping up and down I will be quite pleased.

So Christian Louboutin has "designed" shoes for Barbie at her 50'th anniversary.



Why is this a Christian Louboutin design? I mean this design is hardly new for Louboutin, let alone 2009?

I remember having shoes like that in the early 2000. So is it the fact that they are pink? Because while my shoes were black, I refuse to believe that not one fashion schmuck out there said: "Hey you guys, know how we could sell more of our cool shoes? By making them in different colors, like... say, I don't know... pink?"

I wouldn't say pink is a new invention, what with Barbie existing for like 50 years. Christian Louboutin, please, explain yourself. There is absolutely nothing creative, imaginative, innovative and new to this shoe.

Also it is said that Louboutin slimmed the ankles of his barbie, because her fat feet made his shoes look bad. Wow. Now you know, guys. Barbie has chubby ankles.

Karl Lagerfeld has also jumped on the Barbie bandwagond and made some spiffing new and cool outfits for the old girl.



At least they look somewhat original. However Lagerfeld foud it difficult to make goodlooking clothes to Barbie after she gained weight. I know. Big, fat ugly Barbie with her chubby ankles. Makes clothing and fashion so difficult. And young girls looking to Barbie as a role model. They might catch the chubby ankles and fat look.

Kimmi believes that men can't get brazilian waxing because the women working in the parlour might get too distracted.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!? HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE SUCH A THING!?

Click for more Kimmi-goodness

martinemonster asked me five questions. If you comment randomly on this post I will ask you five questions.

My wonderful answers:
1. What's the weirdest pairing you've ever read a fanfic with?
Ooh, it's been years since I've read fanfic other than Drop Dead Gorgeous and Quality of Mercy, both by sarahtales- the now published author- and both very regular pairings. Hmmm. I've read Arwen/Gimli (LotR) and James/Gary (from pokémon), that was AGES ago. I heard about the pairing Giant Squid/Castle Hogwarts, but I never read it.
2. If you were offered a lucrative job in a faraway country right now, would you take it?
Yes.
3. What kind of job would it have to be for you to want to?
I don't know. Lucrative. As long as the people who offered me it thought I'd be suited for this lucrative job, I'd take it. I trust these people who seem to know my skills better than me.
4. "True story"-movies: Annoying or extra creepy (yes, I'm thinking of Changeling, among others)
Oh, I wasn't sure if it was a true story or if it was just a "True Story" movie. Well, I don't care, as long as they're good, I usually don't pay attention to it. But usually, I lean towards annoying.
5. You're gonna be stranded on a deserted island and you can only bring 5 items. What would it be?
net everywhere thingie, laptop, extra battery for lap top, extra battery for lap top, make up bag (for when the people I've called from my skype, facebook, LJ send their rescue team, preferrably consisting solely of hot guys between 21 and 30 in fireman's trousers.

Today I had to read for my exams in Biochem and Physiology. So I brought up more clothes from the basement.

As you may or may not know I finally painted the walls of my room a couple of weeks ago. This meant I could bring up furniture, so it looks more like a room and less like a storage unit. I haven't enough closet space for all my garments, but I slowly bring up more clothes from the basement. And today I brought up more of my shoes. My wonderful brilliant lovely shoes. I have far from all of them here with me now, but just seeing the few I have here makes me smile. I did not realise I missed them as much as I did.

The other day Kimmi and I were sorting through pornographic Dvd's. Not surprisingly, we came across some gay porn called Barebacking With Bare Asses, or something like that, featuring young boys with lots of mascara and liner wearing nothing but tank tops and/or ties. I showed this cover to Kimmi.

KIMMI: How disgusting.
AYNA: Why though? This is hardly the worst cover we've unpacked today, let alone this week.
AYNA: *flashback to cover of Lesbian Scat Frenzy #4*
KIMMI: But I mean look at them. Poor boys. Forced to dress up and wear make up like ladies... These boys are someone's sons, you know.
AYNA: ...
KIMMI: Also I doubt that anyone finds this interesting.
AYNA: Boys having sex on camera, you mean?
KIMMI: Yeah. How can anyone get turned on by that? I don't think anyone gets turned on by that.
AYNA: So... You don't think anyone gets turned on by men having sex with men.
KIMMI: Exactly.
AYNA: ...
KIMMI: ...
AYNA: ...
KIMMI: Oh. Yeah. Except for gay men.


Egad, this boy. SO weird.

Click for more Kimmi-goodness

As most of you might know I work in a sex shop. The people I work with there are a varied assembly of personalities: there's me- the underachieving student; the grumpy boss lady with a dark secret; the short goth girl from the north with an allergy for precise work hours; the goodwilled swede who doesn't understand Norwegian; and Kimmi. Kimmi is our newest member. Kimmi is a young male (23), metrosexual, from the good part of town, orange, and perhaps not the brightest among men. martinemonsterthinks he's just faking it, that's how stupid he is. Or no. That's not right. I don't know he is stupid, he just says very stupid things. He says the darndest things, in fact. And I've decided that I should blog about the things he says to avoid madness. Because some of the things he says are just plain offensive. Here are a few highlights. ( Can you call it highlights, if what is said is so silly it hurts the brain of the listener? )